Bored Sunday

Start the day with a to-do list:

1) Write a To-Do List

2) Think of what to do.

3) Tick the list off.

4) Keep the list away.

That’s all for today..

Habits

It's so easy to learn something, but so hard to unlearn it.

Now, every time I sit in front of my lappie starting to do work, my legs automatically comes up on the chair..
If I let it down, it's just not comfortable and not motivated to do work anymore...
*sigh

Time to apply Principle of Psychology on this habit...

Gratitude Feeling

Realization that all been posted are rarely good news. More positivity should be included.

Instead of negative experience or feelings, Lets think more on the happy things that has happened.

Yesterday:
Chatted with some friends and genuinely happy and fun.
Had a nervous presentation to the ethics & research committee but was a great experience.
Meet with friends I've not met for a while.
Had tutti frutti and dinner with a friend care enough to stay and chat.

Today:
Tried new fruit blended drink.
An unexpected lunch and chat with friends.
(your car broke down at the right time, for the right reason)

Tomorrow:
I'm going back home~~
It's another day I can live with. :)

Clearing Misunderstanding

Knowing and Understanding is 2 different matter.


Some have said: Misunderstanding must be clarified, confronted correctly so relationship may be preserved and both party can understand each other better.


'Some' is right but how many people are able to do this? Honestly, it's not an easy thing to do. What if we do it wrongly? What if in clearing understanding, wrong meanings were conveyed?


I guess the answer is: misunderstanding is still not cleared. Try harder and better.


I still have to try harder and better then.


I nearly lose a great friend yesterday, wondering if I should give up, not give it up? Send a text, not send a text?

So, I've decided to give it another go. And now, I know the reason behind it. It's a valid reason and understandable. I guess I could have guessed it but my guess has always been wrong.


It's frustrating even though I already know the reason behind it. More than that, I'm annoyed by myself for feeling that way. Tim would most probably say, "Because you care. Don't feel bad about it."  She always know what's right to say. I should learn from her.


There's a lot of people I would like to learn from to improve myself. 


Some say this: It's never too late to learn. 
I say: 


"Life is like overflowing water, Human is like a sponge. Learning is a never ending process life has in store for us."

Popular? Not..

I was completing an assignment today for Positive Psychology and this is how the introduction started.

“For the past semesters, my approach to happiness was just to take it as it comes and not to create one when there aren’t any. I have learned to accept situation as it is and not make much sense of it. That way, it will not bother and affect me more than it should.  Not thinking about much can help me focus to more important things.  This semester however, I find more importance in improving my grades and also on social relationships.  After taking positive psychology class, I’ve learned to be more aware of my feelings and others and spend more time getting to know people and learn to open up.  However, the more open I get, I realized again the more trouble I’m getting into. For example, situations and excuses I’ve always used to avoid confronting others have become more prominent and clear.”

Although opening up is good, I find it comes with consequences.  The more attention I paid to my feelings, the more I express myself, the more time I spent into exploring them, the easier the pain are felt.  I’ve always been able to avoid awkward situations when they come: just walk away…. It always works, I don’t feel bad, and they won’t notice anyways… I’ve never had to stand there thinking whether I should or should not go. Never had to feel like people should notice and want to ask me if I want to join them to the party or not.  Even when….   
 I’ve never felt like crying like I did last week.  I feel so pathetic…  I don’t like to feel like this… I want to feel better.  But.. Is better means not feeling at all? I Supposed that would be better. Not like I don’t empathize, I do. I can just control everything better when I’m colder.

I know how I’ve handled situations are wrong, I know I’m not any happier then than now.. Now I can make friends better. But I can’t control my emotions as well as I could have. And this annoys me.. It’s frustrating when I cried so easily watching sad movie (not like it’s very very sad, by my eyes started to water..). I feel like the friendlier I get, I easier I feel the loneliness. Is not having friends better than having friends but not have them around?

I was told that I’m popular? But it’s pathetic isn’t it? To not have friends around? How then is that popular?

The Past

Ouch, My heart feels heavy again~~ It feels burdened.
Time like this when it feel lonely is when I question myself if I'm doing the right thing, and Seriously!! What is Wrong with me??? I should stop thinking about the past, I should stop thinking too much.. But it can't be help. I should be strong and face this. I should overcome this...

If I've made the decision and decided to go with it, then I should be strong and goes through it!! Be Strong Grace. Please Give me strength. The future is where I'm heading, not the past. Focus on moving forward!

My Heart Feels Heavy again..

My heart feels heavy. I'm about to make a decision that I may regret later and it may be hurtful for another if she got to know about it. But this decision is for the good and happiness of another friend and her group.

I feel upset for now because if what I plan to do works, it will mean that I lose a close friend that I can rely one whilst I'm here leaving me with less shoulder to cry on when I need it. The efforts put into making this new friend will be wasted and it took me a long while and courage to open up and establish this friendship.
I feel however, I can bear the consequences better now that I've experienced and been through these times before several times. When I first went to study in UK and when I started Uni.

I suppose there will be other alternatives to this solution but I can't think of any that works better and faster than this at the moment. I just hope things will work out and it's actually not as serious as I thought it was. I do tend to over-think things although for best intention, it's not voluntarily intended.

Please God (although I've not been very religious), I hope and wish no one will get hurt and unhappy. I rather pain myself than seeing others hurt. Thanks