It's da Moving Song!!

I've Moved today.. suddenly got reminded of the Adam Couple Moving Song~~ Would like to listen to it next time when I'm sorting out the stuff...

it's starting again...

I'm starting again... thinking thinking.. and worrying that it might be inconvenience to others..

Hmm... should I? Should I not, Would we have time? Gotta make extra trip...

Haizz.....  Why am I like that.....?

Being an Ambassador

I was answering the above statement and found myself pondering about it for 30 minutes before actually writing it. Then, erasing and re-writing it again..

I found that I can't fully describe how it feels to be an Ambassador. I can write a whole A4 size paper on what SA is but that's just all in writing. I have gained more than I can say or share. Friends, Experiences, Self-Development, Realisation and the list goes on..

I did and exposed myself to things I've never in my life. Writing articles, conducting interview, attending 'formal' dinner, the list goes on.... These, I would not have chose to do and given the opportunity for. Not only did I commit myself to what's offered, I even enjoyed doing it. Just because I'm doing it with them and I'm doing it just because I enjoy doing it.

Words can't fully describe what I think of Ambassador.

Results Out Today!!

Been busy and not thinking about the Results Day at all. All the while just push it to the back of my head.
So, haven't been worried or nervous about it at all. Not until last minute anyways.

I've never thought I would feel nervous or scared to open the white and grey envelope. Not even when others asked if I have. The feeling just comes out of no where when 2 seconds ago, I don't feel anything at all. I guess that's the power of emotions. We can't control when we will feel it, and when we won't. We can only control what we show to others and how we react to the emotion.

So, I finally opened the envelope just to satisfy the curiosity although I told myself I won't open it until I reach home. So it won't affect my work. And I was just smiling the whole time after that. It sort of affected my work. But not badly. So, it's all good!!

Now that I know, proven to myself that hard work pays off more than smart work, I will work harder than last semester. Although I wont reach first class, I will work towards improving my grades some more. Cause I'm doing it for myself not for others.

I'm proving to myself that I can do better. :)  >_<

Bored Sunday

Start the day with a to-do list:

1) Write a To-Do List

2) Think of what to do.

3) Tick the list off.

4) Keep the list away.

That’s all for today..

Habits

It's so easy to learn something, but so hard to unlearn it.

Now, every time I sit in front of my lappie starting to do work, my legs automatically comes up on the chair..
If I let it down, it's just not comfortable and not motivated to do work anymore...
*sigh

Time to apply Principle of Psychology on this habit...

Gratitude Feeling

Realization that all been posted are rarely good news. More positivity should be included.

Instead of negative experience or feelings, Lets think more on the happy things that has happened.

Yesterday:
Chatted with some friends and genuinely happy and fun.
Had a nervous presentation to the ethics & research committee but was a great experience.
Meet with friends I've not met for a while.
Had tutti frutti and dinner with a friend care enough to stay and chat.

Today:
Tried new fruit blended drink.
An unexpected lunch and chat with friends.
(your car broke down at the right time, for the right reason)

Tomorrow:
I'm going back home~~
It's another day I can live with. :)

Clearing Misunderstanding

Knowing and Understanding is 2 different matter.


Some have said: Misunderstanding must be clarified, confronted correctly so relationship may be preserved and both party can understand each other better.


'Some' is right but how many people are able to do this? Honestly, it's not an easy thing to do. What if we do it wrongly? What if in clearing understanding, wrong meanings were conveyed?


I guess the answer is: misunderstanding is still not cleared. Try harder and better.


I still have to try harder and better then.


I nearly lose a great friend yesterday, wondering if I should give up, not give it up? Send a text, not send a text?

So, I've decided to give it another go. And now, I know the reason behind it. It's a valid reason and understandable. I guess I could have guessed it but my guess has always been wrong.


It's frustrating even though I already know the reason behind it. More than that, I'm annoyed by myself for feeling that way. Tim would most probably say, "Because you care. Don't feel bad about it."  She always know what's right to say. I should learn from her.


There's a lot of people I would like to learn from to improve myself. 


Some say this: It's never too late to learn. 
I say: 


"Life is like overflowing water, Human is like a sponge. Learning is a never ending process life has in store for us."

Popular? Not..

I was completing an assignment today for Positive Psychology and this is how the introduction started.

“For the past semesters, my approach to happiness was just to take it as it comes and not to create one when there aren’t any. I have learned to accept situation as it is and not make much sense of it. That way, it will not bother and affect me more than it should.  Not thinking about much can help me focus to more important things.  This semester however, I find more importance in improving my grades and also on social relationships.  After taking positive psychology class, I’ve learned to be more aware of my feelings and others and spend more time getting to know people and learn to open up.  However, the more open I get, I realized again the more trouble I’m getting into. For example, situations and excuses I’ve always used to avoid confronting others have become more prominent and clear.”

Although opening up is good, I find it comes with consequences.  The more attention I paid to my feelings, the more I express myself, the more time I spent into exploring them, the easier the pain are felt.  I’ve always been able to avoid awkward situations when they come: just walk away…. It always works, I don’t feel bad, and they won’t notice anyways… I’ve never had to stand there thinking whether I should or should not go. Never had to feel like people should notice and want to ask me if I want to join them to the party or not.  Even when….   
 I’ve never felt like crying like I did last week.  I feel so pathetic…  I don’t like to feel like this… I want to feel better.  But.. Is better means not feeling at all? I Supposed that would be better. Not like I don’t empathize, I do. I can just control everything better when I’m colder.

I know how I’ve handled situations are wrong, I know I’m not any happier then than now.. Now I can make friends better. But I can’t control my emotions as well as I could have. And this annoys me.. It’s frustrating when I cried so easily watching sad movie (not like it’s very very sad, by my eyes started to water..). I feel like the friendlier I get, I easier I feel the loneliness. Is not having friends better than having friends but not have them around?

I was told that I’m popular? But it’s pathetic isn’t it? To not have friends around? How then is that popular?

The Past

Ouch, My heart feels heavy again~~ It feels burdened.
Time like this when it feel lonely is when I question myself if I'm doing the right thing, and Seriously!! What is Wrong with me??? I should stop thinking about the past, I should stop thinking too much.. But it can't be help. I should be strong and face this. I should overcome this...

If I've made the decision and decided to go with it, then I should be strong and goes through it!! Be Strong Grace. Please Give me strength. The future is where I'm heading, not the past. Focus on moving forward!

My Heart Feels Heavy again..

My heart feels heavy. I'm about to make a decision that I may regret later and it may be hurtful for another if she got to know about it. But this decision is for the good and happiness of another friend and her group.

I feel upset for now because if what I plan to do works, it will mean that I lose a close friend that I can rely one whilst I'm here leaving me with less shoulder to cry on when I need it. The efforts put into making this new friend will be wasted and it took me a long while and courage to open up and establish this friendship.
I feel however, I can bear the consequences better now that I've experienced and been through these times before several times. When I first went to study in UK and when I started Uni.

I suppose there will be other alternatives to this solution but I can't think of any that works better and faster than this at the moment. I just hope things will work out and it's actually not as serious as I thought it was. I do tend to over-think things although for best intention, it's not voluntarily intended.

Please God (although I've not been very religious), I hope and wish no one will get hurt and unhappy. I rather pain myself than seeing others hurt. Thanks

Midnight Oil... To save 3 others' Life.

Oh they sting, how they sting,

as they struggle to stay awake.

Oh they ache, how they ache,

as they long for a lay, in the nice warm bed.

Oh it sucks, how it sucks,

ao see the Chipster but not digesting it.

We don’t understand why she’s doing that. 

To stay awake to finish it off, even when time is still fresh.

To buy something she shouldn’t eat, then to resist it till thesis is done deed.

Haiz... because Thursday ,

Is Blood Donation Day.

So, she need enough sleep,

On Wednesday night indeed.

Start Opening Up to Others

Finding it hard to open to others, to me is a weakness but represents a sense of coolness and curiosity. But recently, I find it a real disadvantage, giving much chance for misunderstanding from others. Hard in opening to others also made me oversensitive and over-think about a lot of situations. Knowing this, but still not able to help continuing in this path. Having been told about this problem and reassured that situation is not as complicated as I tend to make of it, does not help nor improve the way I think.

To me, Courage. Need to dig up the courage and step up to the challenge. I've finally able to do that today and find that it really isn't how I think at all. I feel more reassured and lighter after opening up today.

I usually think twice about calling, or contacting people I would like to get to know better or befriend worrying that it will inconvenient them. Hence, only waiting for a reason or purpose to then only call. I realize now, because of this I am missing a lot.
Today, I finally brought up the courage to do just this. Telling a friend (one worth to be better friend with) how I really feel and think. I am very appreciative to her; for her positive comments and reassurance. Thanks!

When usually, longer time was needed for me to be really comfortable to openly share my thoughts and feelings, I believe I should start learning from her and not keep everything to myself only.

I realize more now than ever how insincere it is to just call my friends, especially best friends only when I needed something even if they already know and understand how my character is. I learn today, more than ever how my actions that meant well may not be obvious to others.

Starting Today, Right Now. I Vow~~

• I will say 'I Love You' to my family more often.
• I shall not keep everything to myself and over-think situations. Instead, find out and open up to others.
• I shall not be overly concern of what others think of me as this is very tiring and stressful. 
• I will call my family and friends more often, even when there aren't anything important I wish to tell them.
• I shall not think of my friends and those who care about me as Helplines but as the Sun*.

I promise I shall do this well and improve myself for the better. I would like to thank my lecturer for giving me this insight and all my friend who has been supporting me all this while. 

I would like to thank my family and especially cousin who supported and reassured me when I needed it most (not something he present usually). 

Last but not least, I thank 2 person today for helping me understand all these with positive mind. Thanks to you, I can start making this move towards a better Self.

*The Sun:-
Always Reliable; Rising every morning without fail.
Shining Brightly; Offering light when you need it most.
Never Gone; Even when it's not visible.
Beautiful at the Rise and Set.
Important for human survival.

Good friends are those that stays with us through our ups and downs. ^_^

Remind Me Again

Would you like it if someone can just listen to you? Someone to just pat your shoulder or hand when you aren’t happy? Someone to give you a hug when you need it. One to make you smile again after everything that has happened?

If you do, most probably others will like it too. Show some concern to people around you. Show them you still care, you are there for them.

Often, when a friend is down, we can always find ways to help them:

Ø  Listen to them

Ø  Advise them

Ø  Lend a shoulder to them, and even

Ø  Make them smile again.

But really, have we really been able to persuade ourselves in the same way?

Even when the issue faced are the same. Similar situation, similar problems.

I can’t. Can you?

This is really when we need another’s shoulder to cry on. Another presence to speak to. Another advice to take instead of our own.

We all know this. But sometimes, we just need to be reminded of.

So remember, there are always people around you that need your love and care. And in return, there are also others that will care for and love you. Always.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

I always worry that things I do aren't enough or not complete. Even sometimes thinks that there are more that I could have done compared to what has been prepared. Especially when I realised others has done more than I have and better too.

It made me feel useless and aimed to do better than others. But this in the sense put more pressure on me to perform. And whenever I could not as I expect to be, I feel stressed.

I have always been able to tell others how to face this problem but never to myself. I guess same goes to Tim. She will have to similar thoughts like me. And even though she performed much better than me but still faces this situation. However she said this to me when I pose her a question.

Grace: Would you feel wasted if what you have put so much effort into doing and preparing that actually, what are prepared aren't needed?

Tim: No. Because I feel however much effort you have put in, no matter if they are needed or not. There will be reward back. It may not be needed for now. But it will be useful in the future. It's all worth it. Nothing is wasted.

This is a good advise. Thanks Tim!! ^^

Typical...

                Chinese New Year next week!! Happily getting ready, waiting for the bus to arrive at the bus station. Expected the bus to be late (as usual)... But to be an hour late!?! Typical~~ =_=`

                So here I am, waiting for the bus to arrive, listening to my MP3 with my phone’s hands-free. Didn’t know they won’t work together. So only music and can’t hear the lyrics... They command different frequency I think. Great thinking Gracie!!

                So, I’m sat down in the station, listening to music (just music really) waiting for the bus. This is when my old habit emerges again. Behaviour Observation!! This is really fun if you have the patience.

                I play this game whenever I feel boredom coming up. First you find a comfortable place to be/sit, where you can see clearly your surrounding without people getting suspicious of you staring.. ;P  Then you start watching people and ‘Label’ them. Nothing too serious though.

                Theory is that there are many kinds of individuals, hence much different kind of personalities, emotions and behaviour that can be seen. At different moments, our true colours will show. Especially when the wait is too long or unbearable, you start to see anger, impatience, boredom, yawning, hungry, selfish, uncaring etc etc. Being one of the more conservative country, we are still quite negative about things when situation allows.  This is THE situation.. Typical!! Hehe

                I see first 2 empty seats beside me. They suddenly looked so grand, the two plastic chairs. And 3 person are heading towards it (walking would be an understatement). Normally, people should give up the seat to those who needs it (no need to draw it out here..). Well, none of them mattered when you are standing in a crowd of people with sweat pouring out of you. So clearly the girl would not stand a chance against the other 2 guys.. What a gentleman! Whatever happened to Helping a Damsel in Distress?

                Then, a lady with a baby in her arms walks past looking for a seat. Typical! She lost too, in her fight of speed with a cutesy guy in red for the blue chair. So, it’s up to the writer to keep her book & pen for the moment and offer her observation spot for the lady.